funny sayings

[no pain no gain]

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good

You can't have everything....where would you put it

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one.

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

It a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark

A day without sunshine is like, well, night

College is a refuge from hasty judgment

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction

If you can’t live without me, Why aren’t you dead yet

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly

I found a great way to attract money... work

Death is a once in a lifetime experience.

Man has his will, but woman has her way.

If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I stuck with the pits

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad cheque.

Finally things will start clicking…your elbow, knees and back